Call me a sucker for the seasons, but this song just keeps playing in my mind. I can just picture that Babyface guy looking all gorgeous in one of those white outfits that make him look like he just floated off a fluffy white cloud. I can imagine his woman’s knees just turning into butter while he croons in the shower. I mean, what woman’s knees wouldn’t go jelly with the promise of ‘more than any girl can stand’? I’m just picturing it, and I cannot stand it!
I know lots of people who cannot stand it either. Not the song. Not the thought of crooning in the shower. Not even the thought of matching white bathrobes and red hot petals scattered ever so delicately over Egyptian cotton bed sheets. No no no…This is not the kind of stuff that people cannot stand.
Unless of course you are sitting on the bathroom floor all by your lonesome self, reeling from the break up you didn’t see coming. Or the break up you knew was long overdue, but still it hit like a sledge hammer to the thumb. You just sit there, supposedly numb, and yet feeling every prick of what I imagine a botched acupuncture session would feel like. The agony comes in throes and every heart shaped display of cake feels like a landmine in your chest. Of course, everyone else looks happy, rubbing their handholding shenanigans in your face! You just want to throw something. And right now, that radio with its lovey-dovey crooners is just begging for a one way ticket through the window!
Breathe darling. At least no one expects you to make any grand gestures. Spare a thought for that harassed fellow who has to choose between replacing his worn out tyres and sleeping on Egyptian beddings that will still be hotel property on the fifteenth of February. That poor fellow cannot even feign amnesia because the hints have long lost their subtlety. He knows exactly how many ocean view rooms they have ‘missed’ because he’s been ‘too slow’ with his decisions. He blames his work boss for being too slow with that decision to send him to Turkana. It would have been so easy to say to his home boss “Honey, that heartless boss of mine is sending me to Turkana! She says I’ll have to do lots of travel between now and May.” Translation, don’t even think about Easter, my darling.
In truth, the conversation went something like this “Boss, have you made a decision on my trip to Turkana?”
“Ummm, we talked about it in January. I wanted to visit the field office for support supervision.”
“Oh yeah. No, I think it’s more crucial that you remain in Nairobi. No travel between now and May.”
So now, that poor chap has to put together the getaway he should have put together weeks ago. He doesn’t have to do it though. He just has to put a price tag on peace of mind and realize that there really is no decision to be made!
Call me a dander head, but if these grand gestures are tied only to the consequences of not making them, is it still a Romantic getaway or is it merely a gateway to peace?
Are you still crying on your bathroom floor? Sweetie, please think about that woman whose hopes of happiness just fade every day. Her expectations went sky high when for their third date; he flew her to Malindi for the weekend. Walking barefoot on that beach, she knew the ocean with all its water, had nothing on how happy she felt. In his starry eyes, she’d seen many more beaches. Many more early morning walks. But now her mornings are filled with sulking children and missed school vans. She is bored out of her mind and the love of her life seems to be drifting away on some unknown tectonic plate. And he’s taking with him, the island of Zanzibar and the chance of rekindling. He used to sing to her; in fact, it is why she fell in love with him. Now he just talks in monotone or keeps radio silent. When they do go to any beach, he acts as if his teeth are being pulled out. He might as well put on a t-shirt with the words “I’d rather not be here!” But she’ll pretend not to notice. She’ll take some selfies and post them on Facebook. Far be it for her to let it slide that she is anything but happy. She’s been told many times that happiness is not an event.
And so she dresses in all white and pours a glass of wine. She cooks his favorite dish and hugs him a little tighter. At least he brought her flowers.
As for you, sitting on your bathroom floor, enough of that tissue mountain you’ve got going! Love you just a little more generously, and you’ll find that the lover in you sings pretty well in the shower!